Trapped
Being bound to a wheelchair is something that no one will understand unless they have experienced it. You are essentially trapped to a device without movement on your own or being able to have the luxury of doing everything by yourself. My tragic accident caused me to be wheelchair bound for months and months.. I could not feel anything from my incision of my right thigh down therefore causing me to not be able to walk. When you are bound to a wheelchair things change, and like me having a partial paralyzed leg with no movement, a lot changed. Moments of peace that you take for granted every single day you realize in a wheelchair your trapped, you don't have them. You can't stand up by yourself, you need help in and out of cars, the shower, your bed. All the super little things normal people take for granted every day, people who are bound to a wheelchair are wishing they could do.
I felt trapped. After my accident happened I came home and I lived my life in a wheelchair, on extreme pain medication that caused me to hallucinate. Being stuck in one place and having hallucinations is something in itself that is on a different level of scary.
I was told I would never walk again. Being 11 years young and extremely active at that, when you hear something like that it crushes your world and being only 11 I did not fully understand that meaning. I just started surfing and was a really good gymnast at the time, falling through the glass door and severing my leg almost in half definitely changed my future. The doctor said because I cut the sciatic nerve that I would never walk again let alone run or do any physical activity. When doctors straight up tell you the truth, something you don't want to here, it's raw.. it hurts and there is nothing you can do about it.
I decided to push. Push myself harder than ever. I wouldn't take that as an answer.
Recovery
Months and months and months go by of rehab. New braces, new casts, new devices for my leg. It was all extremely hard, but I pushed. One thing about that time in my life is that I never gave up. I decided that my limp partially paralyzed leg would not get me down.
I am a miracle. I had an amazing neurosurgeon, the same guy who told me I would never walk alone ever again in my life, change my life .. for the better. How you ask? He put my nerve back together so well that one day something exciting happened. I moved a toe. Yes I know you are like oh just a toe.. that toe gave me everything I needed to continue and push through my injury and recover. That toe was never suppose to move, and it did. Tears of happiness flowed down my face. I knew what that meant, my muscles and nerves in my leg were being stimulated.
Months and months go on, I am still pushing through therapy, kicking ass. And then something very very emotional happened. I had therapy in a swimming pool because I could not do any exercises on my own standing on my two feet outside the water. One day my therapist that worked with me in the pool decided she was going to make me my first ever foot/leg brace. I still remember this piece of plastic like it was yesterday. It was neon green. It was an L shape that came up my leg to the kneee and did not have any movement.
I still remember the day I took my first step after so long, so much pain, so much exhausution and effort and everything in that moment paid off. The therapist put the brace on, slowly stood me up and helped me take my first step. I remember saying WOW I can really do this. Then she said "try taking one on your own", I did. I still get emotional thinking about that moment and all the pain and suffering that led to it.
Ladies and gents, I walked. The one step turned into a couple and I walked partially down a hall, and it was a amazing feeling. I was so happy, I could not even believe what was happening. I remember I had everyone in tears.
I overcame the outcome my life was suppose to be. A life in a wheelchair, depending on walkers and crutches to hobble around without any pressure on my leg. After those first steps the therapy got more intense, everything got more intense with my recovery. I pushed myself even harder I knew I could regain my life.
I will eventually go in depth on the intense therapy in another blog because there is just too much to say at this point in my current blog.
How to be thankful
If I could ask one thing from everyone reading this. Take a step back and look at your life, look at how good you do have it and how important walking is on a day to day basis. I was a miracle, I got nerve growth back therefore allowing me to walk again. Many many people do not get this luxury. Be thankful every day. Always remember when you see someone in a wheelchair, it's a very different life for them.
Lastly, never take anything for granted. There is always someone out there that has it worse than you. And no that's not a negative thought, it's a positive. Remember how good you have it.
As always LIVE BEAUTIFULLY.
Thank you for reading,
It means a lot.
I'll be writing again soon :)
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