What It Feels Like To Walk Again

Trapped

Being bound to a wheelchair is something that no one will understand unless they have experienced it. You are essentially trapped to a device without movement on your own or being able to have the luxury of doing everything by yourself. My tragic accident caused me to be wheelchair bound for months and months.. I could not feel anything from my incision of my right thigh down therefore causing me to not be able to walk. When you are bound to a wheelchair things change, and like me having a partial paralyzed leg with no movement, a lot changed. Moments of peace that you take for granted every single day you realize in a wheelchair your trapped, you don't have them. You can't stand up by yourself, you need help in and out of cars, the shower, your bed. All the super little things normal people take for granted every day, people who are bound to a wheelchair are wishing they could do.

I felt trapped. After my accident happened I came home and I lived my life in a wheelchair, on extreme pain medication that caused me to hallucinate. Being stuck in one place and having hallucinations is something in itself that is on a different level of scary.

I was told I would never walk again. Being 11 years young and extremely active at that, when you hear something like that it crushes your world and being only 11 I did not fully understand that meaning. I just started surfing and was a really good gymnast at the time, falling through the glass door and severing my leg almost in half definitely changed my future. The doctor said because I cut the sciatic nerve that I would never walk again let alone run or do any physical activity. When doctors straight up tell you the truth, something you don't want to here, it's raw.. it hurts and there is nothing you can do about it.

I decided to push. Push myself harder than ever. I wouldn't take that as an answer.

                               Recovery

Months and months and months go by of rehab. New braces, new casts, new devices for my leg. It was all extremely hard, but I pushed. One thing about that time in my life is that I never gave up. I decided that my limp partially paralyzed leg would not get me down.

I am a miracle. I had an amazing neurosurgeon, the same guy who told me I would never walk alone ever again in my life, change my life .. for the better. How you ask? He put my nerve back together so well that one day something exciting happened. I moved a toe. Yes I know you are like oh just a toe.. that toe gave me everything I needed to continue and push through my injury and recover. That toe was never suppose to move, and it did. Tears of happiness flowed down my face. I knew what that meant, my muscles and nerves in my leg were being stimulated.

Months and months go on, I am still pushing through therapy, kicking ass. And then something very very emotional happened. I had therapy in a swimming pool because I could not do any exercises on my own standing on my two feet outside the water. One day my therapist that worked with me in the pool decided she was going to make me my first ever foot/leg brace. I still remember this piece of plastic like it was yesterday. It was neon green. It was an L shape that came up my leg to the kneee and did not have any movement.

I still remember the day I took my first step after so long, so much pain, so much exhausution and effort and everything in that moment paid off. The therapist put the brace on, slowly stood me up and helped me take my first step. I remember saying WOW I can really do this. Then she said "try taking one on your own", I did. I still get emotional thinking about that moment and all the pain and suffering that led to it.

Ladies and gents, I walked. The one step turned into a couple and I walked partially down a hall, and it was a amazing feeling. I was so happy, I could not even believe what was happening. I remember I had everyone in tears.

I overcame the outcome my life was suppose to be. A life in a wheelchair, depending on walkers and crutches to hobble around without any pressure on my leg. After those first steps the therapy got more intense, everything got more intense with my recovery. I pushed myself even harder I knew I could regain my life.

I will eventually go in depth on the intense therapy in another blog because there is just too much to say at this point in my current blog.

How to be thankful

If I could ask one thing from everyone reading this. Take a step back and look at your life, look at how good you do have it and how important walking is on a day to day basis. I was a miracle, I got nerve growth back therefore allowing me to walk again. Many many people do not get this luxury. Be thankful every day. Always remember when you see someone in a wheelchair, it's a very different life for them.

Lastly, never take anything for granted. There is always someone out there that has it worse than you. And no that's not a negative thought, it's a positive. Remember how good you have it.

As always LIVE BEAUTIFULLY.


Thank you for reading,
It means a lot.
I'll be writing again soon :)

The Sound of Death

Glass Shattering

July 8, 2003 my life changed forever. I was 11 years old when I had a freak accident that you would never even think about happening to someone, yourself especially. I remember the day like it was yesterday and I probably always will. Fourteen years ago and I still have moments reoccurring in my mind of the incident, dreams.. flashbacks. All because of a shattered glass door.

You are probably wondering what happened. How can shattered glass take a life?

On a beautiful afternoon, my brother and I were taking a nice swim in our pool of the house we were renting. We lived in New Smyrna, Florida right across from the beach. And it was wonderful.. All up until this day. I got out of the pool to dry off, went close to the sliding glass door when I fell. I fell backwards and fell right through un-tempered glass. I will talk a little more about tempered vs. un-tempered glass later. But un-tempered glass is not legal anymore and I am one of the reasons why.

I fell through the glass and landed on the ground. The moments of falling, I changed. My body and my life changed, right in those split seconds. I landed with my right thigh almost cut off, my hand gashed open with no blood coming out. I remember that was one of the first things I noticed. I noticed this huge extremely deep cut in my right hand that was somehow not bleeding. Which then led my focus as I was in extreme shock from the state I was in to my lower half. I saw my leg completely torn open. Everything was visible, all the muscles, the bone. The glass cut my leg to the bone, and the most shocking part cut my femoral artery. I was laying in a pool of my own blood. I then realized I was going to die. I started yelling, screeching for help.

Angels

I have always said that angels saved me that day. Some angels from above, and two down here on earth. From the moment I fell my dad knowing about prior knowledge of what to do when you have a severed limb, jumped down and held my leg together as my mom ran and called for 911.

Not a couple minutes later I remember looking up and seeing a man walk through my door with a kit and he immediately gets on the phone for an air flight. He was not in the ambulance, he was our neighbor that at the time we did not know. What happened was his son had heard an explosion and ran into our house, while seeing all the blood and myself he ran to get his father which was a retired paramedic. He had connections and called for the life flight to come and air lift me to Halifax hospital about a 20-30 minute drive away. Everyone knew I did not have that long, I lost 3/4ths of my blood.

Two angels saved me that day, the paramedic that was our neighbor for calling the helicopter and my father for holding my leg together, they are both the reason I am here today writing this blog. 

I remember going in and out in the life flight helicopter, I was losing a lot of blood, I had probably lost the maximum amount of blood just before death.

I had a team of 7 doctors waiting for me when I arrived at the hospital. They pieced me back together and saved my life. I was the talk of the hospital that day. Everyone knew about my injury and what happened and I wish the world could have known so people could fix their glass and my accident could never occur again for anyone else.

My story is a long one, one I will continue to post about. But for today this will be the end of the start of a long journey I went through starting from the moment the sound of death happened, the sound I will never forget, the glass shattering, the screaming.

Live a Beautiful Life

Due to my injury I look at life differently. I live my life on the edge, maybe a little closer to the edge than my parents would like. But I choose not to have fears, to live as if tomorrow or today could be my last day on earth because on July 8, 2003 it almost was. God showed me I have more of a purpose here living on my life, so I plan on living it beautifully.

Please follow my blog if you want to hear more about my story :)

Thank you for the read.